Grief

[jessilee82]

So I was doing ok for about a week..last night I completely lost it. I had a dream that DS had a little brother named Brian. I cried and cried and cried. I feel like this is my fault. I did what I was told, but feel I could have done more. Lots of what-ifs. Could I have done something to help the placenta adhere better?

I'm considering asking DH if we can TTC. But maybe it's emotions/hormones talking.

[Margarita]

There is nothing you could have done. You were taking care of yourself and your baby the best you knew how. It's so hard to avoid the what-ifs; I just went through some of those myself with N's broken arm. But no matter how you look at it - IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!

Hang in there, and be sure to seek counseling if you feel you need it.

[shan]

I am so sorry your feeling so low right now. I wish I had some great words to offer you to make you feel better, but at this point nothing is really going to help. It is a normal thing for you to be fine one day and not the next. Don't try holding in your feelings. What ifs are the worst. But what happened to you isn't your fault, and there was no way to predict this would happen to you. I would have to say think long and hard before TTC. You don't want to be still depressed about this child when you get pregnant with another one. It will make your depression even worse. If you need to vent or anything like that we are always here.

[HeavenLeigh]

it wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could have done.

[jessilee82]

yeah I "know" that, but I don't think my heart has heard.

I contacted another woman I know who had a miscarriage to talk to someone who'd been through it and get some advice for how to work through it. I got some good information and will be looking into finding a therapist.

Some days I'm fine, others I can't think about anything else. One day at a time.

[jessica]

I think a therapist is a great idea. I have gone to one on/off for years and I can't imagine not have that tool in my toolbox. I am thinking about you.

[BellaLuna]

Thinking of you.

[rach]

if you want someone to chat to who has been there and gone thru every emotion known to man I am here for you I have had 2 ectopics, 3 m/c and the loss of my daughter at 21 weeks I know how you feel

[jessilee82]

Thanks Rach. I'm sorry to hear about your repeated losses. I was having trouble with one, I can't imagine having it happen again. Right now, I've talked with some amazing people who've gone through it too, we're pregnant again and hopeful. I feel I'm in a pretty good place, but I will keep your generous offer in mind, because who know how I'll feel tomorrow.

[rach]

great to hear you pg again Jess heres to a healthy happy bub in 2010