Ella has entered the gray zone for napping. She still does nap most days, but it is starting to get hard for her to fall asleep at bedtime on the days that she does take a good nap (last night she went to BED at 8pm but didn't go to sleep until after 9pm). There are days when she will talk or play in her room for 30 minutes before she finally falls asleep for her nap too. And sometimes (more often than not, lately!) she really fights me even getting her to her room. On the days that she doesn't nap (either falls asleep in the car, or we intentionally skip it b/c we are out) she is more likely to have a rough night sleeping (the whole, sleep begets sleep thing really is true). I've realized that the nights where she has bad sleep terrors also coincide with the days that she hasn't napped.
I am still going to continue to put her down for a nap and see what happens over the next month or so. When this happened with Nicole, I finally put her in the guest room with a movie and a stack of books. She would fall asleep 2-3 times a week until she was almost 5 yrs old. Nicole started the transition a bit later - she was 3yrs 7 months when I switched her to the guest room, real 'quiet time' concept.
Just wanted to see what other kids Ella's age are doing, as well as other experiences/ages with this type of transition.

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Deana and David married Oct 27, 2001

Our Wonderful Girls
Nicole Lanier born April 24, 2004
Ella Marie born November 21, 2006

Hey, we're right there with you. David is a few months older than Ella(he was born Aug of 2006) but it's basically the same at this stage. The girls were in pre-school at this age and nap was required. Even if they just laid on their cots quietly for an hour, they had to have the quiet time.
DS is waffling between napping and not. He'll fight me, but usually the bigger the fight, the more likely he is to sleep later. I swear it's pure will power! He'll refuse to nap and stay awake for the hour or more I make him lay quietly, then a few hours later he falls asleep in the car.
On nights we don't have nap, bedtime is more of a fuss. But, if I don't get DS to sleep at the right time, for the right amount, he'll be up till sometimes as late as ten! It has to happen after lunch, but lunch must be served at around 11:30 because if he goes down for nap at 1, that night is an up till ten night. It's a hard balance to keep. Too young for no nap, too old for long naps.
I usually, on days when he's fighting me, let him read a book and/or watch a movie of MY choosing(so I can pick a boring one). I dislike this stage, it's so hard to achieve a balance that works for everyone.

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I could have written your post word for word. We are doing almost EXACTLY the same. However, his waking time (as I just finished typing in my journal) is really different right now than it has been, so nap has been different lately too.... Today he got up so early that when I put him in bed around 1:45, he was out in five minutes. However, yesterday we were at the grocery store for a long time, and he was being so good when we finally got home (and it was like 2:30)...so I decided to just omit nap entirely and put him to bed much earlier. But yes, today is when he WOKE so much earlier, so I almost wonder if it had to do with lacking rest like you said (b/c of no nap yesterday). He does much better with MORE rest too, just like any child I'm sure.

So the basic idea of our "routine" is this:
Wake by 9ish most days lately (today 7 something though)
Play, breakfast, cartoons
If we are going to leave, we go to lunch w/ DH around 11:30-1 or 2ish (running errands after lunch)
Try for "rest time" around 1:30-2:30, depending on when he got up
If he sleeps too late, I wake him up b/c it affects his bed time here, too...Many days he will be in bed for 35 or 40 min and THEN fall asleep, so like you said, it gets to be quite late!
He used to stay in his room so willingly and look at books if he didn't fall asleep, but the past 2 weeks or so (along w/ earlier waking) he has kind of fought me on going upstairs. I tempt him by giving him a good snack to take up with us while we read a few books. He enjoys that, so it gets him to go upstairs without a fight most of the time.

Ok long answer. Sorry. But basically, we are in the same spot that you are, and I have no intentions of giving up rest time yet b/c so many days (like today) he really did need the rest. But yeah, I'm just like you and let it go on many days too.

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mg: Jack dropped his day naps over a year ago he is sept 06 born I wish he still napped or had quiet time

but he goes to bed at 9pm and sleeps for 12 hrs or so

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