I cannot believe I am posting this now instead of 7 years from now. Anyway, my sweet, baby girl is in kindergarten and has a classmate who wants to talk to her on the phone. He (yes, HE!!!) gave her his phone number a couple of days ago and asked me for hers today! Yeesh. I mumbled something about them not needing to talk on the phone, they'd see each other Monday, and he wandered off.

Now, this isn't only an issue because a BOY wants to call my daughter. (Although by my use of caps, I'm sure you can see that it is part of the issue ). A girl in her class also said one day, "Call me when you get home." She just hasn't pursued the issue further. So I have several questions.

1) Am I the only one who thinks that it's ridiculous for kindergarteners to call each other on the phone, regardless of gender? What in the world would they talk about? N has only ever talked on the phone to family members. I just think they're too young for that. By middle school, okay, with time limits and as a privilege. Maybe in later elementary school if they have homework questions or have to work in groups. But kindergarten? Uh uh.

2) Why is a BOY calling my daughter at 5 years old? Oy vey, forget the bigger baseball bat, I need a shotgun!!!! (Okay, so this one is more of a vent.) I get the feeling that he has a crush on her. She doesn't talk about playing with this boy at recess or include him in her list of friends (which is girls only).

3) I already told N that she's too young to use the phone to chat with friends. I'd planned to leave it at that but realized that this boy won't know that's why she didn't call him. I don't want him to have hurt feelings or his parents to think she's (or we) are mean. So, should I call the phone number he gave us, figure out if they're his parents, and find out if they know he's trying to scam on my daughter? Er, I mean, ask why he wants to talk to her? Maybe he wants to set up a playdate?

4) Is a playdate with a boy appropriate? N has played with the neighbor boy, and that seemed natural. This seems a bit weird to me, probably because I think he "likes her likes her". When I was in kindergarten, I never had a boy over to play. My friends were girls, and we tended to stay away from the boys. They had cooties. Ah, can we bring back cooties? Please????

5) If I call his parents, how do I politely explain that I don't think phone calls are age appropriate for kindergarteners?

6) Any other advice in case I left anything out is greatly appreciated. Did I mention I can't believe I'm posting this now? I need a paper bag; I'm going to hyperventilate.

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LOL! I can remember "talking" to friends in kindergarten, but only to the extent of inviting them over to play or stay the night (or being invited) and thanking them for coming or letting me come over the next day. I can still see the egg timer set for 10 minutes.

As far as calling boys, no I'm pretty sure that was never allowed, but I was way too shy anyway. My mom always had to start the call, talk to the friend's parent, and explain why I was calling too. Then, we'd get 10 minutes (or however long their parents agreed to).

I don't expect the boys to be on that end of things, so I really don't have a plan at this point. If she wants to talk to a friend, maybe ask if she would like to set up a playdate and then call the parents?

These babies just need to slow down!!!

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Me, too, KK. Way too shy! I remember I had a crush on a boy in kindergarten, and therefore, never talked to him at all. I was actually kind of hoping N would take after me in that respect.

So much for that. Tonight at dinner, N announced that she's going to marry this boy AND that she sat next to him today. Ack! She told us last week that she had a crush on a totally different boy. I asked her if she and her friends talk about boys, and she said no. Yet, she knows that Girl A and Boy L think they're girlfriend and boyfriend, or at least Girl A thinks they are. I know she has to be getting this from her classmates.

I really don't know how to deal with this, especially this early. This is something I was dreading in the future. I never dated until college! And even then, I didn't really - I married my first boyfriend.

ETA: Oh, and KK, you may want to rethink that not expecting to have to worry about it because you have boys. The boy is the one who started this whole "can I call you?" thing!

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No, I totally do not think you're being ridiculous by assuming that's too early to make phone calls. I would just make your house rules and stick to them, and tell her she is free to chat w/ him at school but the phone isn't for until she's older. I would just make light of it and hope it is dropped. If it seriously proceeds way too long or you're way too uncomfortable with the idea, maybe yeah, call the parents and ask if he needed anything since he's asked her to call so many times... (maybe just a heads up for them so they know what they're dealing w/ too)... but I probably wouldn't just yet if it was me. Hopefully they'll forget about it after a while. Man, I do remember "liking" a boy in K, and I remember thinking one particular song (a Bon Jovi song, lol!) reminded me of him... OMG, that is so crazy.. I was six. So, I guess they do just learn early that boys and girls are "supposed" to be bf and gf at some point, and they toy w/ that idea b/c it makes them feel old. I also remember saying to a friend once, "Cross your legs, there are boys in here! We want to look cute!" (when we were watching a movie in third grade). Ha!! Oh, and in first grade, my friend and I used GLUE to write the name of the boy we liked on paper b/c we thought that made it TOP SECRET since no one could see it (including us). So yeah, these things happen. I too married the only guy I ever seriously dated. So there is hope for N. LOL!!! Don't worry too much yet!! Just keep talking to her.

PS- I cracked up at her declaring her intent to marry.... at the dinner table. HA!

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Thank, M! That's great advice. I don't know if it's because I've had some time to let the shock sink in or what, but I'm not freaking out today.

I think you're right about not calling his parents at this point. N needs to learn to communicate rules to her friends. I will just remind her Monday that she's not allowed to talk to friends on the phone until she's older and let her know that if this boy asks again, she needs to tell him that.

Then I will hope and pray that it gets dropped....and practice my nonchalant reactions and reiterations that "It's nice you have lots of friends." Hopefully that will be enough to teach her that they are all just friends, boys or girls. Nothing more. Until she's 30!!! (The same goes for A, by the way. I'm not just freaking out because she's a girl.)

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